“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom”
……………….. Proverbs 9:10
The Bible repeatedly talks about having the fear of the Lord in our lives as a positive, healthy aspect of our relationship with him. I imagine that such an idea does not mean being paralyzed by terror in our hearts about God, since the Biblical God has proven infinite patience and tells us that he loves us. Many people agree with this assessment. What they rather think is that it refers to possessing a profound awe and wonder, deep reverence, and humble respect for God’s supreme holiness, power, and authority. Most religions share this line of thinking. For a long time, I also concurred with this conclusion. However, at this time, my impression is that neither respect nor reverence is the right view for describing what the Bible is trying to communicate to us.
The New Testament constantly describes God as Father. He, of course, has many roles, as Creator, Judge, Lord, Master, etc. However, Jesus still describes him almost exclusively as Father. When we establish a relationship with the Christian God, he always undertakes a fatherly character, rather than revealing himself as a menacing figure. People might probably be seriously scared of God, Judge, or Master, but they do not expect to be terrorized by their own fathers. If you have to be afraid of your dad, then there is something wrong with that relationship.
In religious traditions other than Christianity, the loving father figure in their gods is absent; the deep relational aspect and the intimate, familiar connection do not exist. Although other religions may express love and admiration for those gods, it usually is a ritualistic relationship geared towards appeasing the gods that constantly burdens worshipers. In the case of Islam, I find that Allah is ultra scary and demanding, to say it mildly. The believers are severely punished for even the smallest transgression in the Islamic religion. The non-believers (infidels) even run the risk of being beheaded under certain circumstances. That is not what a good father should be doing, for sure.
Therefore, what does the expression the fear of the Lord mean? As a father myself, I do not want nor expect my children to be terrified or even mildly scared of me. I would certainly see that as a negative factor, so I am only mean with them when I am clear that it is required to correct them for their own good. It is my job to guide and correct them after all. But I would rather expect them to respect and trust me when I teach or correct them, although I have seen something else in them, too. I realized that what I think about them is important and does matter significantly to them. They are actually afraid that I will develop a bad opinion of them, so they usually avoid any conduct that could make me angry and behave accordingly.
This fear of disappointing me with mediocre conduct is driven by love and respect for me, their father. I try to fulfill my role as a father conscientiously, and the fruit of this effort is evident in their fear of disappointing me. That is why the Bible says that perfect love casts out fear in 1 John 4:18. They are motivated by love and respect. This is a very healthy fear, unlike the terror that a tyrant in a position of authority often creates in his subordinates. Neither is it the fear of consequences and being punished by such an authoritarian figure.
Not only have I seen this behavior in my children, but I have seen it in the children of many emotionally stable and balanced families. It is the normal pattern of behavior of children towards their loving, responsible parents that sacrifice themselves for them every day. I think our Father in heaven would also like for us to express our view of him in the same way as all these grateful, loving kids do. It should be immensely important for us what our heavenly Father thinks of us.
But as I mentioned earlier, except for Christianity, the idea of God as Father is nonexistent. And for many Christians, including me, this has not been a fundamental concept ingrained in our nature and regular behavior. In fact, only recently have I started to identify, understand, and recognize God as my Father. I realize now that this oversight represents a major failure in my personal relationship with God.
The Christian God, without a doubt, wants to be our Father, but he is also our creator and our eventual judge in the afterlife, among other roles, so he behaves accordingly to each role. Above all, he wants to be our Father. However, for many, the fear of God is the fear of the judgment of God and eternal death, which is eternal separation from God (Luke 12:5; Hebrews 10:31). If he cannot be our Father, he will be our judge. The reason is that we are not by nature sons of God; we are children of wrath. That is why the Bible says: “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires” (John 8:45). We only become adopted sons and daughters through the blood of Jesus. He is the one who connects us to the Father. We become sons of God by behaving in ways that reflect our fear of disappointing and grieving him, rather than pleasing the devil, the flesh, and the world.